If They Only Knew How Many Times We Wanted to Quit!!!!

That’s a quote from a woman in the church where I pastor.

I heard it over coffee with her and her husband in their kitchen on Wednesday afternoon.images

In May of this year – they will celebrate 54 years of marriage. That’s right. 54. 4 more than 50. 46 less than 100. Over half of a century. A LONG TIME.

When I heard that, I said (insert Alabama/Arkansas accent here): “Man, you sure don’t hear that much these days.” 

Husband’s response: “You sure don’t. Couples these days just get mad and want to quit and get out of it all together.” 

Wife’s comment – looking at her husband: “If they only know how many times WE wanted to quit!!!!”

I have thought about that all afternoon. There’s ALOT of wisdom there.

Here I was, looking at a couple who had been married nearly twice as long as I have been alive and they were admitting (laughingly now) how many times they wanted to just quit their marriage over the years. In other words, there had been times and seasons when they wanted out of the marriage. . . . But they were still married.


Couples who have been married 54 years didn’t make it that long because they never had a fight; or never had a rough season; or never had any major issues or problems; or never argued over finances; or never cheated; or never yelled at the other. NO. NO. NO. NO. They made it that long because they CHOSE TO STAY MARRIED AND WORK THROUGH THEIR PROBLEMS. The only other option is to  get out and try again with another.

Anybody can get mad and quit.

Committed people are committed to work through their problems and issues ’til death does them part.

Got marriage problems? Get in line.

Said something you shouldn’t have said? Done something you wish you hadn’t? Got a spouse that makes you want to punch the wall sometimes? Take a number. Wanna quit? Join the club. I don’t know of a marriage that doesn’t have seasons of stuff like this. The ones that make it do so because they are committed to do so.

After the visit, I sent a text to my wife that said: “Such a precious couple. They have been married 54 years!” Her text back? “I hope we can be precious when we are old ;)”

Me too, babe. Me too.

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5 thoughts on “If They Only Knew How Many Times We Wanted to Quit!!!!

  1. Mom says:

    Well, we know at least KATIE will be precious. 🙂 Love, Your Mom

  2. Libby says:

    Busted by your MOM!!! LOL

  3. Richard McClendon says:

    My mother and day were married for sixty years, before he passed away. My mother lived to be 97.



  4. cindysl says:

    Good post. GREAT comment from mom. I literally busted out
    laughing. 🙂 Ahh social media. Gotta love it!!

  5. […] If Only They Knew How Many Times We Wanted To Quit! A great post on marital longevity by my friend Matt Pearson. […]

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