What’s a Daddy to Do?

Unknown-1I was reminded last night of the stark differences between my two boys. One had his first baseball practice of the season. . .

While he was with the other boys running and catching and throwing and hitting and tagging and sweating, the other was in the outfield with his female classmate working on a halftime show.

One wants everything and anything to do with a ball.

The other wants everything and anything to do with a mascot associated with the ball team.

One makes up football teams in his room with Hot Wheels.


The other saves his money to buy ‘smelly’ markers to make rainbow name tags for the family.

One plays professional soccer on his Kindle Fire.

The other plays Barbie with his sister.

One loves to set up targets to shoot with his bee-bee gun.

The other loves to set up a decorated area for Easter.

One is fascinated that his arm pit can make noises that . . .

The other is fascinated that he can whistle ‘Rudolph the Red nose Reindeer.”

Each came from the same set of parents. Each were cultivated in virtually the same environment. Each are radically different from the other.

What’s a Daddy to Do?

By God’s grace, I am currently reading Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys by Stephen James and David Thomas. I haven’t finished it yet, but at this point I can HIGHLY, HIGHLY, HIGHLY recommend it.

In relating to boys who are ‘different’ this quote was helpful:

“A (boy) needs to be enjoyed for who he is. If your son’s wiring is identical to yours, let him become his own man. If his wiring is different from yours, discover, celebrate, and enjoy exactly how he was made, rather than try to bend him into more of who he is not.

(Boys) want to be enjoyed, and they also need their fathers to engage with them. . . .(they) need engagement through physical contact and connection. But (they) also need to feel their father’s emotional presence. Fathers can engage with their sons by being involved in things they like to do.”

Main take away here: Let them thrive in being who God made them to be and ENGAGE them on THEIR TURF!!!!!

Makes me wonder:

How am I doing at letting them be who they are? Do I ever secretly wish they would be different than the way God wired them?

How am I doing at engaging them on their turf? Do I always pick the activities, or do I let them pick what they want to do/play?

How am I doing at studying them so I can best nurture and disciple them into different, but biblical followers of Jesus?

What about you, dad, how are you doing here?

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One thought on “What’s a Daddy to Do?

  1. Becky and Johnny says:

    Dear Bro. Matt,
    Thank again for the time you took to listen to my thoughts yesterday. I do hope that you and Katy will enjoy your family together as much as Johnny and I have our children and grand-children! I will recommend this book to Melissa and Melody!
    Our Matt has always been a quiet person who keeps most of his thoughts to himself. We have teased him that we know when he does decide to speak, we listen as if he were E.F. Hutton!
    I would like to ask you to pray for him as he holds so many of his feelings inside. He and Alise have no children; she has her own business and she has trouble sharing him! Anyway, thanks again for your time yesterday, and we will continue to pray for you and your family and our church!
    In His Love,
    Becky and Johnny


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