It’s no secret. Marriages are hurting. Christian marriages are hurting – bad.
Wherever I go – whether to visit, vacation, preach, learn, or pastor – the theme is the same: MANY Christian men and women are miserable in their marriages.
On and on I could go.
One thing I have noticed, however, that I often hear people say with their lips, but contradict with their actions – is this:
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make this marriage work.”
Really? Do you REALLY mean that?
- Then how come you won’t go see a professional counselor?
- Then how come you won’t read that recommended book?
- Then how come you won’t quit your job?
- Then how come you won’t go get a different job?
- Then how come you won’t stop everything to work on your marriage?
- Then how come you won’t pray with your spouse?
- Then how come you won’t take your spouse on a date – just you two?
- Then how come you won’t talk when your spouse wants to?
- Then how come you won’t put down your stinkin’ smartphone?
- Then how come you won’t move to another town – away from your parents?
- Then how come you . . . ?
Here’s what I am learning about marriages – Christian marriages (my own included):
Those who have ‘healthier’ marriages demonstrate they will do whatever it takes when things are fine.
Marriages at the ER, on the other hand – say it only when they’re desperate.
Here’s the thing: If you are really willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work – you will be that way all the time, not just when your marriage is flatlining.
Most spouses who say they will do whatever it takes only at desperation time don’t really mean it because they don’t know how. Sure, they mean well and are sincere with their words. But their actions prove over and over again that they really have no clue how to do it.
Don’t you think if you cultivated that attitude NOW then maybe, just maybe, your marriage would stay out of ICU?
Are you really willing to do whatever it takes to make your marriage work?
Awesome. But talk is cheap. How can you demonstrate it NOW?
No, really. Do it. Now.